Reflections of Life

Everybody has a story to tell.

Sad is the organization, school, church, business, political party etc. that choose to welcome only those they deem worthy.

Once your mind takes on someone’s perspective, that person’s perception will then become your perception. Watch the chemistry flow once that happens. Trust me on this.

We all have a “hurt” that still hurts. When will you let it go and start living again?

Living and loving is about making adjustments each and every day.

Challenge for you: Set one goal.

1. Start reading the Bible until February 18, 2026. 86 days. Start with the Book of John.

2. Learn a skill like Canva, Google Docs, photography, cooking, budgeting etc.

3. Reconnect with someone (family/friend) who you are at odds with.

4. Church member: Invite someone who used to go to your Church.

5. Non-Church member: Choose a Church and go each Sunday for 6 months.

About 10 years ago, I offered help to an Org. They showed me the back entrance to the balcony as they waited for the right person. I think they are still waiting but now they are 10 years older. I accept it.

A younger generation might laugh as I don’t use TikTok, but I cringe when I see a younger generation attempt to address and send a letter with their “writing skills”.

Want to change your life? Change your intake. Choices we make each day:

Pepsi/Coke vs. Water

Landman vs. Hallmark Channel

Exercise 10-15 minutes a day vs. Laying an extra 10-15 in bed

1-2 cups of coffee vs. 2 energy drinks (being realistic here)

Scrolling on Tiktok vs. reading 3 chapters from the Bible

Texting vs Phone Call

Texting vs. Coffee date

Friend who lifts you up vs. (Insert name)

Once people realize the absence of God is truly the problem in this world, only then we will realize that evil can and will be defeated. God wins. You didn’t get the memo?

It’s not easy being Sein – off my soapbox

Too many people are afraid to create their own pathway. Take the chance and slowly build.

Great chemistry is not the way it looks. It’s the way it feels.

No one can fire me.

I always think there is a better way. Always.

It’s been a couple decades since I have had what was my favorite dish.

It’s been years since I have seen a sunrise.

Age – teen years: I am fascinated with the way people think.

Age – 58: I am fascinated with the way people think.

Direction is much more important than speed. So many people are going nowhere fast – author unknown

Forget the flaws and weaknesses. Always play to your strengths and you can rise above.

So many lonely people. Where do they all come from – Beatles

Perception, Empathy and Positioning.

I wonder if anyone has read my FB About Page on a laptop? Did you know it’s different on a cell?

Age – 27: I make a great “Second in Charge”.

Age – 58: I make a great “Second in Charge”.

What I shake my head at: when a Church, Org or Business tries to build an audience, and they only tell those on their FB friends list or email list. Then they wonder why not enough people show up.

We pray, God listens. When we read his word, that’s when we listen.

Good morning and if you made it this far, thanks for reading a little bit of how my mind thinks. I tend to be more open when I am tired and couldn’t get back to sleep.

Today 68 years ago and well before I was born, my “little brother” passed away of unknown causes at the age of 4 Months & 6 days. Perhaps Sudden Death Infant Syndrome (SIDS).

I remember being little and my Mom would cry at every anniversary of his passing. We lived in 3 different houses after I was born and before I turned seven, and I remember her tears in the second house as early as age seven for me. I remember trying to comfort her but to no avail.

Each trip to the Rio Grand Valley where he is buried, we would visit him and the last thing at the cemetery was to caress the lamb on top of the headstone. Although, the moment was emotional for my parents, as a kid, I never fully realized the depth of the “hurt” each of them felt.

So many tragedies, unknown and unexplained circumstances which make no sense have occurred to so many of us in life. The “usual questions” of “are you okay”, how are you holding up”, or even a ” how could this happen?” gets asked.

I remember getting a call from a acquaintance talking about education several years ago. We barely knew each other but spoke for about 90 minutes. She then asked if I had heard about her daughter passing and leaving behind 3 kids. I had no words except for my thoughts and prayers were with her as I kind of knew the pain she was about to go through for the rest of her life.

Although I have never lost a child, I have seen this happen first hand in my sister’s family and then my brothers family. There is no way i can even comprehend the loss of a child, but I have seen the effects on a family not just in the months ahead of the child passing away, but even 68 years later.

To answer some of those questions I mentioned, I will state the obvious. No, they are not okay. They are not alright. They never will be complete. Life will never be the same and after 68 years my Mom still has this photo nearby and still shed a tear today of what could have been, should have been and will never be.

I wish I had a better way to finish this Reflection. I just don’t. Fifty years after the loss of life if you lost a child, you will still mourn and you will still wonder what could have been. The years don’t get any easier and the memories are never enough. My heart goes out to you.

– off my soapbox

Words and actions are powerful. We live in a world of what can you do for me first. A salesman will try to make the sale in the first conversation. People often make the mistake of trying this strategy with relationships and friendships and then think, what’s in it for them? Where’s the romance? Instead of sell, sell sell, it should be give, give, give and then ask if that is what is needed or wanted. The “what’s in it for you” reward may come from someone else, or someone up High. May this year be the year you identify where your gifts and talents should be given. God Bless – off my soapbox.

Reflections of Life: When I was 16 I was chosen to become part of a traveling ministry of retreats called ECHO (Encountering Christ in Others). My very first one was led by a very stern Pastor who didn’t play around, but had a sidekick Pastor who was more laid back and a go with the flow kind of guy. It was a 3 day retreat with 35-40 High School students none of us would meet or know until we got there at the site in Flint. We were told to write out our “20 minute talk” and have it approved by one of the Pastors. I wrote out what I titled “Fishers of Men” and it was approved during a meeting of all the leaders of the ECHO retreat 3 days before. We were asked if we were ready and apparently the more free flowing Pastor noticed that I was bothered by something. He took me aside and I explained to him that one of my best friends had been hit several times by his father the night before and I had no words to offer him. This Pastor explained that we don’t always have the right words to say and that sometimes just being there was enough. Trying to get me focused, he also mentioned about how nervous he was doing his first sermon as he tore up his notes right in front of his congregation, and began to just talk. He was told it was one of the best “sermons” many had heard in years.

At the retreat, still thinking of my friend back home, I got up to take my turn and instead of following my written paper, I spoke about being there for others, being in the position to listen, be a shoulder, or that just showing that someone cares may be all that you can do as I tried my best to tie in the Fishers of Men theme of going after people. I spoke about noticing people who are hurting and mentioned that someone in this room right now, might look like Mr or Ms Popular, but they are really depressed right now or dealing with a hurt that they think they alone are experiencing. I then mentioned my friend back home and what he dealt with.

That night, one of the football players for the local high school, asked if we could talk and he revealed that he had been beaten by his dad the previous week and hated him but didn’t know how to deal with it. We both cried that night, laughed, and stayed friends for a bit. At a reunion later, he admitted he got counseling and his dad and him actually go to counseling together. It wasn’t that I said something magical or that the Pastor had knew this High Schooler before that weekend. Pure coincidence?

Sometimes, just being there, is all someone is asking, but in the spirit of Fishers of Men, sometimes we need to look for people, call them, text them, Facebook them, whatever, just to check on them. Way too many people show signs of life on the outside, but are truly dying on the inside. Sometimes we believe we are the only one going through “this pain” and no one either cares, will listen or understand us. Way too many people are alone and hurting right in front of us or on our contact lists. Life was never meant to be that way.

—- Off my soapbox. . .

Reflections of Life:

So many times in our lives we face situations that overwhelm us with fear, anxiety, self doubt and yes even hate for someone or something. I remember seeing a similar image of the photo of the image attached to this post when I was younger. The earlier imagine was a child stuck in a tree.

Can you imagine telling your child of 4 or 5 years old to jump from a tree he got stuck in? He might listen actually. The trust is there. Now imagine telling your 14 year old kid to jump? Not happening because of all the doubts that enter into a teens head. What could go wrong lol?

I see so many people “stuck” in situations they never dreamed of and yet, today’s reading reminds us of seeing only what is in front of us. We get caught up in what really could go wrong or, even the “Why God?” moment. Mary of Magdala could only imagine the worst and questioned one who she thought was the gardener. She then realized the gardener was Jesus and her fears and anxiety were gone. Mary knew Jesus personally (imagine that?) and believed it was him even after he was crucified.

Many of us question God. Admit it. I do. I also realize that I can’t see the path that he has created for me and its through his word, that I remember that in any situation, God is in control. I speak to him daily. Most of us do. But I also know that in order for me to hear him, I have to read his words in the Bible. Its there. That’s when he speaks to us. Too many people miss that. They look for answers or continue to question God and can’t figure out why God doesn’t respond or answer prayers or take away the pain or situation. Its human to question things and yes human to question God.

My challenge to you is this: yes question God but take the time to find his answers. Many people are willing to jump for the latest Apple phone, latest Power episode or even a round of golf to relax. Nothing wrong with those things. But we all have kids and many of us have grandkids. They are watching us. Show them that what’s in front of us is not so overwhelming that we have to go it alone. Trusting in a God that created the heaven, the earth, the oceans and sun to mention a few of his beauties, is not such a bad thing at any age – off my soapbox

God Bless and Good morning!

Today’s reading comes from John 20:1-2, 11-18.

A day late……

Reflections of Life:

Happy Father’s Day to my Dad Benjamin Longoria Benavides. I remember we would set up the chairs for Church Service at the old Cristo Rey Community Center back in the early 1970’s because we usually were the first ones there in the building on Sunday. Of course, he left me stuck at the age of 7-8 to set up those chairs by myself so he could go help start the Cristo Rey Church 9:00am Choir.

When he realized I couldn’t hit a baseball very well when I was 8 years old, he told me that shortstops were the sparkplug of the team. Cheering on their teammates, calling out how many outs there were, but also always thinking one or two plays ahead as to where the ball was going to go or needed to go. I can’t say I figured that out until my 40s and at that point, it was wisdom for life and community service. Yes, I can be slow #cc.

He doesn’t keep track of the many times he went out of his way to go sing and play guitar at a funeral in Lansing or 30 miles out. He simply believes its the right thing to do to honor those who have passed. Too many years ago he mastered the skill of leading quietly by example. I remember when I was 17 and him telling me not to raise my voice in meetings or life because you save those ‘effects’ for when you really need to make a point. The lessons have been plenty, but the love from him has been overflowing. In only a way he could have figured out, he taught me skills that sometimes took me years to even need.

I think back to when the Church decided to eliminate the Fish Fry which at the time was losing money. When I was 20 years old, I was the youngest Church member to ever be elected to the Church Council. I argued as long as we break even, we should have the Fish Fry as it was a community builder. It was about bringing families together. I lost the vote. On the following Monday, my Dad came home and told me that there would be a Church Fish Fry and him and I would run it. He believed in me so much, he spoke with our Priest and convinced him it was the right thing to do. We raised $1200 in four weeks and the Fish Fry is an integral part of the Church and a good fundraiser to this day.

I have been Blessed to have both my parents as they head into their 90’s and although he knows he runs the family, he always reminds me, we would be nowhere without our mom. His love for her has no end. The value of the woman in the family never got past him.

Thank you for everything Dad. Te quiero mucho papi!

Note: My mom is to the far left wearing a white cap, my son Benjamin is directly to his left, and I am in the far right corner looking down in a red shirt.

I wrote this in 2020 and it still applies today. Updated for 2024:

After a couple days of being back to work doing Cafecito Caliente, I am tired. Meetings, updating the website, taking care of details, adding contacts, bothering folks for info, this meme reminds me of my interactions with some people.

I get asked often, what is it I really do? I have been told to focus on one thing. To tell the truth, I am tired of explaining the philosophy of Cafecito. Not sure anyone would ever believe me anyways.

I hope as you read this, you yourself should know you do not owe anyone any explanation as to who you are, what you do or even why you do it. Just do you, be you and recreate you if you must. Why settle for less in 2024?

– off my soapbox

I see it all the time. People trying to rebuild their life due to divorce, the end of a relationship, or those ones that are “tired of being tired” because their life turned out to be nothing like they dreamed about when they were day dreaming at the age of 17. I was one of those ones many years ago when my significant other and I decided that life wasn’t the same anymore and I had to sit there and decide where do I go from here after a soon to be divorce?

First and foremost God got me thru anything and everything. All credit goes to him. Took me awhile but I followed my passion for working with kids and my parents idea of community involvement. I got involved in an education group, but what I found to be true more then anything was that I had to choose what type of people to run with? I am constantly amazed at who I have actually had the pleasure of getting to know over lunch or coffee. Students, business owners, 30s somethings with dreams but no idea where to start, people lost in the world but wanting to wipe the slate clean from their past.

I have been so blessed to have my parents, family and friends as a cheering section in my life, but one key philosophy that I had told many people prior to my divorce that I focused on was “it doesn’t matter where you have been, it only matters where you are going”. Sometimes that ADHD kicks in too much as I tend to sleep very little and stay busy learning about something or somebody to learn who they are and what makes them tick. Not to pry, but so that I can either learn from them and apply their ideas to my own life, or take their ideas and share them with others. Some people are so willing to run their mouths, but rare is the person who takes the time to listen. Listen closely and you will find who that person wants to be in your life.

We have heard it before: you get out of life what you put into it. But ask yourself this, on this Friday morning, what are you putting into your life? Who are you allowing into your life and more importantly who are you allowing to influence your life? Friend of mine wrote recently that they wondered what’s up with those friends who don’t seem to care about her as much as she does about them? We all have those people who seem to just suck the life out of us. Keep them away. I didn’t say get rid of them, just spend more time with those that lift you up with encouraging words, positive vibes and value your time more. Look for those that are moving in a positive direction.

When I sat down many years ago, I didn’t have many of either as I really didn’t have many friends at all. As with most failed marriages, friends scatter to not be involved. I definitely understood. As I moved forward, I wanted positive people and even if they had some drama in their own life, that was cool as long as they were pushing forward. Even if you fall forward, you move forward right? I looked for a mentor and found a very good one.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help if you fall into the “okay I want to rebuild my life but don’t know where to begin” category. Heck ask me out for coffee and I can definitely share an idea or two AFTER I listen. Point is, ask for help if you are not sure of where to begin. This weekend take a long look at those around you. As the saying goes, “show me your 10 best friends and I will show you who you are”. ~ off my soapbox.

We see or hear this too often. Friends who tell you that their marriage is over. Reasons? Not getting along. She doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t pay attention to me. We get time together and he goes to sleep. The words “I love you” are said plainly. All we do is argue. Or the classic one: “I don’t feel his/her love” or “I don’t feel that I love him/her anymore.

Marriage is forever people. It’s not about how you feel each day. You took wedding vows that stated that MARRIAGE IS FOREVER which means that if something isn’t right, you work on it til it is. Much love and respect to all those wonderful couples that I know that practice this.

For those that struggle and wonder when the marriage will return to the happiness that once was, I challenge you to wake up each day with the idea that you will do one thing that expresses your love to your GOD GIVEN SPOUSE. Marriage is not an obligation, it’s a blessing from God – off my soapbox