I see it all the time. People trying to rebuild their life due to divorce, the end of a relationship, or those ones that are “tired of being tired” because their life turned out to be nothing like they dreamed about when they were day dreaming at the age of 17. I was one of those ones many years ago when my significant other and I decided that life wasn’t the same anymore and I had to sit there and decide where do I go from here after a soon to be divorce?
First and foremost God got me thru anything and everything. All credit goes to him. Took me awhile but I followed my passion for working with kids and my parents idea of community involvement. I got involved in an education group, but what I found to be true more then anything was that I had to choose what type of people to run with? I am constantly amazed at who I have actually had the pleasure of getting to know over lunch or coffee. Students, business owners, 30s somethings with dreams but no idea where to start, people lost in the world but wanting to wipe the slate clean from their past.
I have been so blessed to have my parents, family and friends as a cheering section in my life, but one key philosophy that I had told many people prior to my divorce that I focused on was “it doesn’t matter where you have been, it only matters where you are going”. Sometimes that ADHD kicks in too much as I tend to sleep very little and stay busy learning about something or somebody to learn who they are and what makes them tick. Not to pry, but so that I can either learn from them and apply their ideas to my own life, or take their ideas and share them with others. Some people are so willing to run their mouths, but rare is the person who takes the time to listen. Listen closely and you will find who that person wants to be in your life.
We have heard it before: you get out of life what you put into it. But ask yourself this, on this Friday morning, what are you putting into your life? Who are you allowing into your life and more importantly who are you allowing to influence your life? Friend of mine wrote recently that they wondered what’s up with those friends who don’t seem to care about her as much as she does about them? We all have those people who seem to just suck the life out of us. Keep them away. I didn’t say get rid of them, just spend more time with those that lift you up with encouraging words, positive vibes and value your time more. Look for those that are moving in a positive direction.
When I sat down many years ago, I didn’t have many of either as I really didn’t have many friends at all. As with most failed marriages, friends scatter to not be involved. I definitely understood. As I moved forward, I wanted positive people and even if they had some drama in their own life, that was cool as long as they were pushing forward. Even if you fall forward, you move forward right? I looked for a mentor and found a very good one.
So don’t be afraid to ask for help if you fall into the “okay I want to rebuild my life but don’t know where to begin” category. Heck ask me out for coffee and I can definitely share an idea or two AFTER I listen. Point is, ask for help if you are not sure of where to begin. This weekend take a long look at those around you. As the saying goes, “show me your 10 best friends and I will show you who you are”. ~ off my soapbox.
