Today 68 years ago and well before I was born, my “little brother” passed away of unknown causes at the age of 4 Months & 6 days. Perhaps Sudden Death Infant Syndrome (SIDS).
I remember being little and my Mom would cry at every anniversary of his passing. We lived in 3 different houses after I was born and before I turned seven, and I remember her tears in the second house as early as age seven for me. I remember trying to comfort her but to no avail.
Each trip to the Rio Grand Valley where he is buried, we would visit him and the last thing at the cemetery was to caress the lamb on top of the headstone. Although, the moment was emotional for my parents, as a kid, I never fully realized the depth of the “hurt” each of them felt.
So many tragedies, unknown and unexplained circumstances which make no sense have occurred to so many of us in life. The “usual questions” of “are you okay”, how are you holding up”, or even a ” how could this happen?” gets asked.
I remember getting a call from a acquaintance talking about education several years ago. We barely knew each other but spoke for about 90 minutes. She then asked if I had heard about her daughter passing and leaving behind 3 kids. I had no words except for my thoughts and prayers were with her as I kind of knew the pain she was about to go through for the rest of her life.
Although I have never lost a child, I have seen this happen first hand in my sister’s family and then my brothers family. There is no way i can even comprehend the loss of a child, but I have seen the effects on a family not just in the months ahead of the child passing away, but even 68 years later.
To answer some of those questions I mentioned, I will state the obvious. No, they are not okay. They are not alright. They never will be complete. Life will never be the same and after 68 years my Mom still has this photo nearby and still shed a tear today of what could have been, should have been and will never be.
I wish I had a better way to finish this Reflection. I just don’t. Fifty years after the loss of life if you lost a child, you will still mourn and you will still wonder what could have been. The years don’t get any easier and the memories are never enough. My heart goes out to you.
– off my soapbox
