Reflections of Life Archives - Page 3 of 3

I remember when I was 19 working at Popeye’s Famous Fried Chicken. I would take the trash to the dumpster which was almost directly in front of the drive thru menu board. The dumpster was only chest high so I would throw the trash can up giving it a quick pull back while I rested the trash can on its side. The trash bag would release and I would pull the can down. One night after sundown, when there were no cars in the drive thru, I took the trash out. I threw the can up as always but when I tried to bring it back, the bag carried the can towards the inside of the container. My instincts made me jump a short jump resting my stomach briefly on top of the dumpster, but since my hand wouldn’t let go of the can, I was pulled into the dumpster.

There I was sitting inside the dumpster and then I seen it. Lights from a car that was ordering at the drive thru. I didn’t dare get out figuring those people would see me. I waited almost 10 minutes for different cars to go thru and finally got out of there, a touch embarrassed by it all. I walked into the store and went back to work thinking I would share that story another day. Then my manager came to the kitchen and asked me: “Are you alright? A couple cars said they seen someone fall into the dumpster and then they didn’t see you get out”. Ugh!

I remember sitting in the dumpster thinking how did that happen? Why didn’t I let go? If I tell people what happened, will they remember and tell others? I really did feel dumb. Ever stay in a relationship too long? Keep a friend longer then they deserved to be your friend (forgiveness is one thing but abuse is not acceptable)? Hang out with a crowd that after a while develops drama? Go after a potential significant other when you knew they were just a bad news? Way too many of these type questions show up in our lives simply because they exist. Bad people, bad relationships and bad situations. Everyday we are faced with decisions of who and what should influence our lives. With Thanksgiving upon us, we all think of the many things we are grateful for. Then Christmas hits and we are in a giving mood. Then New Years and of course the resolutions for a “new year and a new me”. All of these are great intentions with the potential for good things to happen.

But I can’t help but notice how many of us (I am guilty too), go thru the motions over the next 40-60 days and then wake up later in thinking how did I get here? Why did I hang onto to the trash that clutters my life? You know what happens when you keep trash around you all day long? It stinks, everyone notices and people talk. We may think that our “dark moments” are not seen, but trust me, someone sees everything we do. How many times do we make that effort to do better, get better and live better while still clinging to things we shouldn’t be clinging to that weigh us down or hold us back? I myself have had a reluctance to writing over the years and only recently forced myself to write. For me, its not getting rid of something physically, its getting rid of the “mess” that builds up inside of me and in an odd way it keeps me from expressing myself, therefore leaving my mind cluttered with thoughts and ideas to remember. Makes it hard for me to focus and give people my best efforts. Any goals of “New me, New Year” are suddenly slowed down. I would compare it to trying to run a race with a 50 pound backpack strapped across your back.

So what types of things are you needing to trash and get out of your life? Do you really want to carry them into the 2020? What types of people do we need to surround ourselves with that will encourage, nurture, motivate and love us enough to help us remove that clutter whether it be a boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn’t deserve us to those friends who repeatedly take us thru drama? One year from now, will you be wondering, how did I get here? Okay, off my soapbox. . .

Recently I happened to catch only a small portion of the Senior Citizens end of the year picnic at Frances Park in Lansing. On a beautiful 70 degree day, Fr. Fred Thelen led off with the Mass, followed by everyone’s favorite Mexican Bingo, and then on to some socializing and food. A group of about 60-65 Seniors mixed with a few of us under 65 years of age made for a smile filled day. I struggled to take pictures that I will one day regret. Or will I? I had the chance to sit with Evita who at the age of 99 continues to amaze and inspire us all. She continues to sing in the choir and is a role model for serving Jesus in a time when many can’t seem to lend a hand for twenty minutes to help their Church.

My very own prima Maria Elena mentioned to me that we always embrace at Church, and the fish frys but we never get much chance to talk. In our 15 minutes of conversation, I realized that I had graduated with her daughter who was a good friend of mine in high school. I had no clue that Dolores who I knew was my cousin, was Maria Elena’s daughter. I suddenly felt more connected to family and at the same time sorry that I had missed out on better hugs, conversations and memories.

This all took away time from snapping pictures for Cafecito and perhaps future generations who might happen to stumble upon this little website of mine. Those moments are gone and as the saying goes, tomorrow is never promised. But, in an age where “the photo” provides content for Facebook, Instagram, websites, Snapchat etc., we sometimes forget that the emotions, the feelings of the moment, the people, are more important than any picture can provide. Don’t misunderstand me, we one day will look at loved ones through these photos and remember their voices, their hearts and their souls and perhaps even shed tears of sadness and joy at the same time. Those photos will become precious and valuable. But to feel someone’s heart, to share what they have experienced when that person is in their 70’s, 80’s or like Evita who is 99 years young, is priceless. Almost addictive as you suddenly want to spend hours listening to them. Hearing what their soul has to say. No photograph can give you that.

These Senior Citizens that showed up this day, represent such a small percentage of the Seniors that make up our community and our lives. Over the past several years through the things I do, I have come to admire a few families in the Lansing area as they seem to embrace the older generations better than most. They go camping, bowling, out to eat, celebrate birthdays in groups of 30 to 40, travel to watch grandkids play soccer, baseball, softball or bowl. They go to the casinos and bailes together to keep everyone’s spirit young. You can see in the grandkids eyes the love and respect they have for their elders that sadly to other families is a thing of the past. Although those families don’t realize it, te quiero mucho.

Whether it was Sra. Licha Patino who each week gave me a kiss on the check and an embrace reminding me to keep paying attention to los jovenes because they need to know people care about them, or Sr. Juan Mendez who constantly encouraged me to keep focused on young people as one day, they might leave the Church. Or Sr. Bobillo who was willing to tell the Church community that Sein might be young, but he is a leader as if he were my campaign manager. And actually, for a Church council election, he was my manager and thanks to him, I won. They were just three of the biggest supporters I had back in the Youth Ministry days of the 1980’s. They gave me love unconditionally. Kind of Christlike que no? I so miss them.

Fittingly, I have no clue on how to end this writing. I simply don’t want to see anything written about Senior Citizens that has an ending as their influence on me, and others has no end – off my soapbox

Reflections of Life

Reflections of Life 2020: Turning How Did I Get Here Into Chasing The Dream

Cristo Rey Church Celebrates Senior Citizens Program with End of the Year Picnic